I Need Somewhere to Begin
by LallyintheSky
Summary: "One…two…three rings. Finally, in a hushed tone, Rachel's voice came through. "Jesse?" " The evening after the Nationals competition, Jesse realizes he needs to see Rachel at least one more time, and Rachel comes to him with a startling revelation.


He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing as he paced the hotel lobby, phone in hand. He was sure New Directions were celebrating the victory, but he needed to see her again—all that control he seemingly held on to prior to the competition vanished completely. Running a hand through his hair—and smiling at the memory of her characterization of his habits—he finally bucked up the courage and whipped out his cell.

One…two…three rings. Finally, in a hushed tone, Rachel's voice came through.

"Jesse?" she spoke barely above a whisper, "What are you doing?" Biting back a witty retort about her remembering (or at the very least not having deleted) his phone number, he huffed a sigh.

"Any chance you could be persuaded to take a walk?" he offered hopefully, teeth pulling his top lip backwards. After a moment's hesitation, Rachel sighed.

"Are you downstairs?"

"Yes." Another moment's hesitation.

"I'll see what I can do," Rachel huffed, but then spoke again, voice slightly lighter. "I'll see you soon."

When she hung up, Jesse began pacing again. What was he doing? What did he even have to say to her? What would she have to say to him? He ran a hand frustrated again, then brought his hands to rest in a position of prayer in front of his lips.

"You look bothered," a tiny voice called from behind him, and he spun, heart immediately lightening. Her hair was still styled from the competition and her full lips still faintly stained red, but she wore an oversized top for her tiny frame and a pair of cutoff sweatpants. She looked relaxed, and she smiled in response.

"Shall we?" Jesse gestured for the door, and glancing over her shoulder for anyone who might put a hindrance to her plans, Rachel smiled, leading the way.

"You guys were amazing today," she began. Jesse laughed bitterly to which Rachel scowled, eyes narrowing. "I'm serious!" she spoke pointedly, and Jesse shrugged.

"It's still over. The reign of Carmel has been de-throned," he spoke dramatically and Rachel giggled, arms falling from their crossed position of discomfort. "But you," Jesse continued, "You were phenomenal, as always." Rachel's cheeks darkened a bit, smile bursting across her face at his lauding praises.

"I've been wanting to do that song for ages, it's one of my favorites," and Jesse nodded emphatically in agreement. "Jim Steinman's a legend," she continued. _"It's All Coming Back To Me Now, I Would Do Anything For Love-"_

"_Total Eclipse of the Heart," _Jesse interrupted, and both froze, the tension between them immediately palpable. Rachel crossed her arms in front of her once more, glancing out of his eyeline, and Jesse cleared his throat uncomfortably.

_"'Paradise' _though, that was a bold move on Schuester's part," he continued, and Rachel giggled once more.

"Actually, that one was me as well," she admitted, remaking eye contact. "I was sort of…hoping to get a message across," she admitted, and Jesse's eyes moved immediately to the finger absentmindedly spinning the heavy diamond on her left hand.

"You don't want to marry him." It wasn't a question. She swallowed heavily, eyes locked on the concrete beneath them.

"I should want to," she finally muttered. "It should be the thing that makes me the happiest, but…"

"Praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you," Jesse quoted the song, and Rachel let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a strangled sob.

"He missed it completely, you know," she wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered. "He thought it described us _perfectly_," she held up her fingers in quotes, "Love me till the end of time and all that." They fell silent, and finally, Jesse sighed.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Rachel?" he asked, frustrated, and she stopped walking immediately.

"What other choice do I have? I blew my audition, and I have no plans, no future—"

"You know that's not true—"

"Yes it is! I didn't have a backup plan, so Finn became my backup plan and now I'm stuck in Ohio forever." She spoke quickly and heavily and Jesse watched the showface of an eager bride-to-be melting rapidly away. Silence lingered between them, and Jesse bit his lower lip.

"She's giving you another shot," he said finally, and Rachel frowned.

"No Jesse, she won't. I have called her and begged her every day for a month, but she made her choice, so I've made mine—"

"I saw her today. I told her how unbelievably talented you are, how more than anyone I've ever met I know that it's going to be you, that you'll never let her down and you are meant to be a star because god _damnit _Rachel, you _are." _His hand ran frantically through his hair again, and he was surprised to find her eyes teary and her lips pressed into a taut line.

"You…you did all that for me?" she asked slowly, and the words fell from his lips before he could stop them.

"What's he done for you?"

The taut line of Rachel's bottom lip quivered and her tears bubbled over. She crashed into his shoulder and Jesse instinctively pulled her in, arms closing tightly around her tiny frame. He let her cry, smoothing her hair and consoling her the best he could without words. Finally she straightened herself out, wiping the tears from beneath her eyes and glancing up at him.

"Thank you," she whispered finally, and before Jesse could stop himself, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut, vehemently willing herself not to break down a second time. "Why me?" she asked, and as he'd done so often during their short-lived relationships, Jesse knew immediately to what she referred.

"Because you and I were cut from the same cloth. Because I understand you when you think no one else does. Because before I met you I didn't know anything; I didn't understand what it meant to feel or to love, and that's why I put myself ahead of you. But I don't have your strength. I'm _not _going to get out of Ohio Rachel, but you are. I know it." Rachel shook her head.

"You're wrong," Jesse opened his mouth in protest, but she stopped him. "You _are_ getting out of there. We both are," she said, and his heart caught in his threat as she laced her fingers through his.

"You really believe in me that much?" he asked, and Rachel shrugged a shoulder.

"I believe in us that much," she squeezed his hand, and instinct kicked in as Jesse pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. They looked up at one another, Chicago moonlight shining down, and lips crashed into lips in a bruising kiss, logic and abandon left behind as the world seemed to revolve around the pair.

Jesse knew things was far from settled, what with the engagement and Rachel's auditions, but it was surely a start.


End file.
